| so long |
[11 Nov 2009|04:46pm] |
i can't believe it's been nearly a year since i've posted. i'm obviously not posting for any sort of audience b/c all of the friends who used to read lj are fully invested in private blogs/wordpress/facebook. i just thought i should update my own journal to say that steve and i are expecting our first baby any day now.
it's so funny to go back and read the last post because i mention eagerly anticipating our california trip--which is where we are pretty confidant we conceived this little one.
we have so many hopes and dreams for this new life...the anticipation is killing us. i've been contracting painlessly for about a week--hopefully not too much longer! i cannot wait to kiss the face of this sweet babe.
back to sipping lavendar tea and staring longingly out at the bare trees outside....breathe...
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| coffee & water |
[09 Feb 2009|11:01am] |
so, after a busier week than usual, i had a lovely weekend as steev worked early on friday and had saturday off. this was much anticipated as we needed to get a few things for the cali trip this coming friday. we enjoyed a mad mex date on friday and a relaxed evening at home and saturday we got going early. steve really needed some new wedding digs and i was on the search for a dress to go w/ my wild cowboy boots, so we headed to H & M and Urban...both stores that annoy us, but their sales racks are sometimes our price range. i was able to find a cream dress @ H & M and steve got a lavender shirt @ urban. we decided to have lunch at zenith since we were right there. it was a nice quiet couple's lunch as their was only one other table of guests there while we dined. i tried the tofishy for the first time and i was impressed! i'd be willingto try it at a zenith brunch in the future. steve got the stuffed cabbage...ew! with two black coffees, we were energized for a bit more shopping, so we headed over to waterfront. macy's had some great sales, and steve found a blazer for 75% off. after making fun of shoppers and finding me a wild necklace @ express, we decided to head home and clean up for our dinner guests. steve put on some tom waits for the drive, which was quite enjoyable. i have to be in the mood for that guy.
after some tidying and cooking, our new neighbors, nathan and courtney came over for supper sans children. steve knew them somewhat from working @ beleza, but i'd really just met courtney at a recent clothing swap at another friend's house. we struck up a conversation about vegan macaroni & cheese and then kept in touch over email. we had a lovely meal, cold udon noodles w/ peanut sauce & seitan, stir-fried greens, and courtney made bread pudding for dessert. the conversation was also lovely, it can be fun to get to know neighbors. we did talk about veganism quite a bit, and their children, and punk music, but also a lot about the neighborhood and the work that they've done on their house. it was exciting to hear them sound so satisfied w/ the house, despite the huge jobs ahead of them...i feel a similarity between us in terms of the type of work/ style of design that they've pursued with their house...i feel that steve and I have similar tastes to them...and basically, i could just feel my mouth watering to look at houses! they stayed till ~10:30 and by the time we said goodnight, steve and i were tired and ready for books 'n bed.
i know these few days will fly by, but i just can't wait to get on that plane to CALI!!
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| interim |
[22 Jan 2009|10:48am] |
dear chilly january,
thank you for the promise of warmer weather, though i'd love to go sledding.
signed,
me.
so i'm feeling good that i've atleast:
-submitted all forms & essays to pittsburgh public for subbing
-submitted all forms to paeducator for interested districts to read about me
-submitted forms to PUCS (private christian skool in wilkinsburg) for subbing
-1/2 completed online app w/ hampton area schools (it's REALLY long ;))
-been in touch w/ north hills for subbing (just waiting on them to send me my packet!)
looking for work, even just subbing work brings about my great moral conflict about education. since i have NO experience (besides student teaching), it's SO tempting to desire the suburban districts but i LIKE the idea of not having to travel more than 30 min. to get to school, and investing myself CAREER-wise in the city...realizing there may be a few "bumpy" years of adjustment for me in learning how to handle my classroom.
i'm so antsy when i don't have to get up and go in the morn. i do appreciate my small class of loud 2nd graders @ pittsburgh project, but the hours are just so strange...not going in until 2:30...and keeping them on task after they've been in school all day...it's so tedious...and the art of being an elementary teacher doesn't come NATURALLY to me...i'm much more naturally sarcastic, that's why i enjoyed my eigth graders...but i must say, i was a pretty good actor yesterday...we acted out Moses receiving the 10 commandments and, other than Tre laying on the ground like a fish out of water, I think it went pretty well ;) mostly b/c i let my typically-worst-behaved student play the part of God ;)
i'm still trying to figure out what I'm CALLED to do...and this is hard. i know i enjoy my interaction w/ young people, i know i care passionately about education, i know i enjoy teaching social studies content (when it's in the realm of History) b/c it's fun to see the kids light up and discover the idiosyncracies of their past...but i'm so quick to second-guess my abilities...i have a very supportive husband who encourages me to try all things before being so 'deterministic' about my future...and who knows, maybe i'll be teaching something VERY different next fall if that's what I'm to be doing...ahhh, the future.
happiness right now is:
pancake breakfast with stephen, latenight TV, reading in bed, coffee till 11am, homemade scones (thank you gav!), and chocolate soymilk
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| amazing |
[24 Dec 2008|09:24am] |
how one can fetter away the time on the computer. i sometimes stumble across the most intriguing blogs of ppl i don't even know. mostly this kid that steve met at cornerstone one year, he's canadien (thus the appeal)...well, his gf's blog is so lovely and all of her friends are artists and travel to europa all the time and most the most whimsicle things...i just spent an hour reading about someone's life whom i don't even know.
wierd.
so stephen and i had a lovley little christmas eve eve lastnite. the only time we had for our own christmas. we take time opening one another's gifts and talk about them and treasure the stillness of one another. i've enjoyed our first 4 christmases together greatly. he got me very cozy boot slippers for tromping around our cold hardwood floors, the most recent iron & wine album, a copy of baz luhrman's romeo & juliet (i was obsessed in hs and i lost my copy ;(), a coffee thermos (yeah now i can keep my coffee warm throughout the morning @ work AND bring coffee on my bike!), and some "crack balls" as i like to call them: TRUFFLES! (and they're vegan so i can share them w/ steez). we ended the evening by candlelight listening to between the buried and me (b/c steve got a new hoodie that inspired him to listen to them) and whispering about all that we're thankful for.
i woke early to make berry pancakes & coffee...a breakfast that was made so much cozier by the new addition of a fireplace in our dining room...my pops got us an electric fire and it's not too fake looking, it's basically a space heater...but it made for a cozy christmas eve morning w/ the paper, the fire & and the company of my hubby.
now i need to set to accomplishing the day's tasks (some ironing, cleaning, resume writing & packing) to get us ready for the road trip to MI this evening. we'll be in MI..IN THE SNOW, yeah!...for five days, hopefully we'll see some friends in addition to lots of family.
merry christmas all.
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| rainy wednesday |
[10 Dec 2008|03:26pm] |
well, i've completed my student teaching...and it's left me with the strangest feeling...i feel a great sense of accomplishment, but everything still seems uphill from here (resumes, portfolios, interviews, etc.)...and i do have to give a short little presentation on my work during the semester...that will prove to be more busywork beforehand, i'm not too worried about the actual "presentation"...it's more like a mock interview, but the University panel has very specific things they're looking for ("evidence of student learning")...i actually like the format that they've established because i do think it will be good practice for a real interview (the thought still terrifies me)...i have this perception that interviewing for the type of job that i want will just be a session of faculty grilling me on history/geography/economics-related questions...but according to my cooperating teacher, that's much less likely...they might ask a few questions that are loosely history related, like "name the greatest history bk. of all time" or some bs like that...but really, she said, they just want to see that you have passion, you can be flexible, you are extremely organized and you can control a classroom...whew!
SO...I'm free (for now...until the day i start subbing or can find a job!) of my 5:45am mornings and 60 hr. work week. I am just babysitting (Asher & Boyers) occasionally, working on my portfolio and resume, and getting caught up with the neverending cleaning/laundry/dishes of life. We have some major work to do on our spare room, so maybe this time will be put to use in that way.
I have my exit interview at Duquesne on MOnday and then I'm OFFICIALLY done w/ that bullshit University :) until I come back on Friday for commencement. Both the Waggs and the Freys are coming to town to celebrate bringing closure to this drawn out experience. I'm looking forward to having my brother stay with us, and to having the rents around. It WILL feel good to walk across that stage, no doubt. If only it didn't cost so much to buy all of the stuff to wear for three hours of the day!
Come early January I will be re-employed with The Pittsburgh Project as an afterschool teacher. I believe I get my 2nd grade classroom back, so I'm pleased about that. We'll see, though, they may need me as a "floating teacher" which is not as fun. Now that I'm used to working with teh 13 yr. olds it'll be a big transition to go back to the wee ones...but they're fun in their own right...just a lot more snotty noses, untied shoelaces, etc. It's nice to have the assurance of some employment in the near future, but hopefully it won't inhibit my search for long-term employment.
Okay, tis all for now. I'm writing in here mostly for me, as the livejournal seems to have been abandoned by most friends who've gone the way of facebook and blogging...but i'm stayin true for now.
merry, merry christmas!
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| fall times |
[08 Oct 2008|06:02pm] |
it's rainy and dark. it's october. i just celebrated my birthday with my family. i'm really tired and i wish i had a week to hibernate in a cabin in ligonier with a nice book and good friends.
student teaching is overwhelming. i know i'm far too critical on myself, i've already been told this by my coop teacher and my supervisor, but it's hard to let up b/c i expect so damn much from myself. today during 1st period i knew the kids weren't following me on a certain topic, so i scrapped it, but i hate feeling like i've let them down...i suppose there's always: tomorrow! ;) tomorrow's a brand new day...and just when i was feeling annoyed w/ myself, several students from my late afternoon class came in and were really friendly and inquired why i was missing yesterday (i went home early b/c of sickness/fatigue), and it just reminded me that i have some fans ;)
off to make some tea and begin working for the evening! ;)
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| spring fling update |
[10 Jun 2008|04:06pm] |
since i don't want to start anything right this minute b/c i'm tired and sweaty...i thought i'd post
i'm soooo anxious to be done w/ academics for awhile! i only have class tomorrow, my final on thursday, and my teacher test on the history of the whole world from the beginning of time ;) on saturday! then i'm FREE until august 25 when i set foot in the classroom!
my summer goals:
-relax
-print some of my zine
-redo path in garden/landscape back garden/GARDEN in general
-organize more food sharing w/ community (baking/freezing/shopping/etc.)
-better equip my bike (tire kit, headlight, emergency pump, rain stuff)
-get my act together and bike to Highland Park ATLEAST once a wk.
-get to chicago w/ mona
-organize school stuff/clean out CRAP!
-get to cottage
summer reading:
-finish Sophie Scholl
-Guns, Germs & Steel
-Poisonwood Bible
Okay, gotta go shower and get some food cooked. Despite the oppressive heat, I do enjoy that it's stooping season and that I just had a HUGE slice of watermelon on my-ish stoop AND that I was able to overcome the weeds and my fear of the neighbor dog to get a load hung outside on the line to dry....yeah using the sun!
I'm so happy to be close to done...I'm so happy to get out of this funk in my head...
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| not sure what to think about the zoo... |
[09 Apr 2008|11:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
i'm real tired today as i've actually gotten on my bike a bit the past few days and yesterday I walked the kids to the zoo (it's a lot of work coming back up that hill to H.Park)...it's also my LONG day at school...I'm SO ready for these days to be over with..
you know how it's totally vain, but affirmation from the right person can mean such a huge deal?...well, i just got an email from my dad saying that i know enough history to compete w/ the folks in my graduate history class; he said "they should not have to take a back seat to you" or something like that...and that meant SO much coming from him b/c he's really smart, esp. when it comes to military history...i've always felt like the underdog academic in my family, that's why i'm such a nerd when it comes to school...i just always feel like i don't know shit, but i DO know shit, i just don't have any self confidence and i consider all conversations to be like term papers where i just don't say anything if i don't have enough proof to back it up ;) (also related to my belief that most ppl overgeneralize/moralize all the time and it doesnt MEAN anything; so that's why i don't talk much sometimes)...i also don't consider myself a historian in ANY regard; just someone who likes the social sciences and who likes the idea that history is tension over time; it's relationships and ideas and really interesting arguments; it's also the oddities of the human condition in little epitaphs...and i think it's really important that young ppl learn history; in the sense of: learning how to ask questions/argue/think analytically/critically...THAT, to me, is what it means to empower a young person...and if I can hep ONE 15 yr. old kid do that, then I will feel like my own enligtenment was worth it (to make an obscure ref. to dhmaric psychology)....so, thanks dad, you made me feel better...
also; since noone ever knows what/where i'm at in life here it is:
-finals in two weeks
-may/june term stats class
-pretending to teach in the fall (student-teaching)
-graduation: dec. 2008 bitzes!
-no employment/school/relative poverty in January! wahoo!
also...not sure what to think about these g-d elections...i fell in love with that sucker barack when i read his auto-bio. but i'm just afraid that he's too nice for washington; i'm afraid that i like him b/c he's a really good community organizer but that the presidency will ruin him...maybe i'm just pessimistic on the position/all past presidents since reading Chafe's "Unfinished Journey"...I just feel worried rather than hopeful; but I suppose worry doesn't accomplish too much.
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| a new week. feeling grateful. |
[11 Feb 2008|10:49am] |
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it's honestly quite refreshing to be starting this week. not only did i recall that i have a "floating A" that I can use for the econ exam that i really effed up on friday (that's one FREE A on any exam), but i actually had time yesterday to clean and get myself mentally, emotionally and physically ready for the week (b/c last wk. was a douzy). i prefer sunday's where i'm NOT rushing around and feeling crazy; so this one was refreshing. having a slow breakfast with steve. feeling slightly guilty about not going to church, but still not sure that mosaic is where we want to call "church home." i had a good long talk with my brother who is working on a getting a job w/ the UN...go Mike! we'll see; it's a VERY long process. and despite feeling like an underdog in my graduate history class...i'm feeling like i'm actually on top of things with school...and that is good. and i'm glad steve and i don't usually care about valentine's day b/c it really is such a freaking wierd made up holiday. once when i was in junior high i made a big valentine's dinner for my family; hung hearts from the lamps in the dining room and made a big pan of heart brownies just cuz i felt like it...and they dug it...but otherwise; i think it's a big of a crock...but i'm happy to go to a party just to be w/ friends and be silly for it! yeah junior high parties!
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| wednesday morn |
[30 Jan 2008|08:40am] |
The Vagina Monologues is playing at the City Theater until Feb. 17...for thos interested:
http://www.citytheatrecompany.org/vaginamonologues.html
it's $35 tues-thurs and $40 on the weekends...I'm still yet to see it, I'm thinking i might dip into my loan money, it's educational! And I've heard great things about it on stage. I read part of Eve's book, I think Amanda had a copy. Anyone interested?
Also, this pscyhology of peace & conflict class is really getting to me, in a good way. Everything the professor explains in terms of psychological attachments, cyclically destructive behavior...it's all making so much sense to me. And the readings of Thich Nhat Hanh have so much applicability. It's quite fantastic. I feel fortunate to have this opportunity.
Off to calculus!
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| gatherings |
[03 Jan 2008|10:47am] |
i say we have breakfast together like that more often. jenny's idea for a waffle brunch the morn after the new year's party was fabulous. we should have a breakfast at someone's place like that ATLEAST once a month. our place is small but i'm willing to volunteer it. i just like it when we can fanagle the community into getting together.
i'm having that end-of-break desperation, "no! school don't come! there's so much more I wanted to do!" last nite i did get some of the reading in that i intended to do over break. i mostly read the "best comics of 2007" rather than the novel that i'm working on (reading, not writing). there's lots of jeffrey brown in the best comics, and lots of other greatness. i never realized that i liked comics until a few years ago. i just didn't know, then, about things like "blankets" or that not all comics/graphic novels are manga or violent and fantasy related. anyways, we had a gift card to B&Noble, so we picked up this fine hardcover collection of goodies. it made me want to go back to quimby's in chicago and buy more books!
i think i'm supposed to be working right now for a woman whose house i clean, so i should figure that out!
joyeux annee!
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| year's end |
[28 Dec 2007|01:01pm] |
i was just thinking about this past year in terms of the small business and i thought it might be encouraging to list the accomplishments/struggles that we've overcome in 2007 at beleza co. coffeehouse:
-new hires! the blessings of garrett & wendy & dan & juju
-new furniture (chairs, couches, dressers!)
-more community giving (toy drive, clothing drive, dance alloy, mattress factory)
-new merch! (an eco-friendly branding in the form of beleza mugs)
-continued support from all owners
-and always new customers and the continual support of neighbors!
please add to this list if you think of anything, I just think it's great..and we're still floatin'
...and it's nice to be back in pittsburgh home...detroit was lovely; six holiday parties in four days and a hurried drive back to work the shop...but it was truly exhausting and it's very nice to be in the solitude of home near the company of good good friends.
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[11 Dec 2007|08:42pm] |
before some microeconomics in the bathtub!...
just wanted to say we got our tree today b/c i got off work early. we carried it home from the urban gardener. it's soo small and cute and dumb and adorable. I wanted to prop it up on a box but steev said the cat would for sure cause it to topple...so it stands proudly..ah, maybe 3 ft. tall? IF that. it's the smallest tree we've had of our 3 christmas' together which is ironic b/c we have nearly 15 ft. ceilings in our studio apt. this year...but it was within our budget, so it's perfect! ;) steve hung all of our heavy ornaments lowest on the tree in hopes they'd hit the dumb cat on the head when he goes to mess w/ the tree.
talking w/ the bruderhoff community folks at beleza on saturday really kept the wheels in my head turning about co-ownership of a home, etc. i'd like to share more and have less in my name. they have a common purse in their community and MOSTLY live outside of the realms of global capital...which is great. we talked about how much more difficult that seems to be in the city than in the country what with the prevalance of advertising and lifestyle. our trouble is figuring out how to feel we're responsibly using our training (my masters and maybe steve's higher degree in comparative religion...it's been talked about a bit) for the good of loving folks rather than filling our storehouses where moth and rust destroy. anyways, bruderhoff (sp?) folks, twas good to chat with ya'll.
mineral salts and marginal analysis here i come! wish me luck on my econ final tomorrow!
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| saturday saturday saturday saturday |
[01 Dec 2007|04:59pm] |
gotta go babysit soon...just wanted to say: 5 pages down, 5 pages to go...one hell of a good argument to finish constructing...
i canNOT wait for next week to be over...i shouldn't wish time away...but i'm really nervous to present my HUGE paper to my geography class, and i'm really nervous about teaching on wednesday night...i'm also not looking forward to the other work for the other classes that is required of me prior to finals week...
went to whistle emmet's birthday party today...he's a dream...he makes me want a bubby, but i'm cool for now ;)
what i'm REALLY looking forward to: being done w/ education classes and after dec. 12, that will be a reality! wahoo, education classes are pure idiocy...next semester all i have are undergrad prereqs to get rid of, but they're all going to be interesting: psychology of peace & conflict, american history since 1929, intro criminal justice, macro & calc (not too interesting...but oh well)
okay, off to vandermolen's best KIDS in the WERLD...shouldn't be too bad..;)
wish me luck heading into this crazy week...i'm scurred!
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| break |
[18 Nov 2007|11:02am] |
i have a break for a week. no classes. just work! i have a 12 p. paper due when i get back, I have just a general onslaught of important things due/happening/expected of me when i return from break...but...i took yesterday for myself. i planted nearly 30 cloves of garlic on our garden to hibernate all winter and to blossom come july. yeah, the earth. i also got some materials together for gift basketz for beleezer. wohoo capitalism. everything in the baskets is earth and worker friendly, tho. (well, minus the mugs...not sure who joann's fabrics' manufacturers exploit) i also enjoyed a warm meal w/ friends. good all around. it's nice to be on break b/c usually by this time of the weekend i'm fretting about all that i have to get done before monday dawns.
i'll be at book'em from ~3-6 tonite if anyone wants to join!
and...we might be meeting our new cat today..?...chris rapier found us a cat...we'll see!
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| the one thing |
[12 Oct 2007|09:19am] |
that i like about this chilly weather is a morning like this when I can sleep in till 9, eat a slow breakfast, keep studying in my pajamas, and ease myself into the shower by 10:30 before work.
steve & i were remininscing about how much coffee we used to drink @ gav & jo's in the evenings when we first moved to pitts...unfortunately i had to study lastnite...but dems, just know that steve & i are itching to come over and have some coffee or hot chocolate some evening soon!
back to cultural anthropology and memorizing hominid information!
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| i love my neighborhood...but... |
[27 Sep 2007|09:06pm] |
i'd like to go one night without hearing a police siren. I know, I know, I live a block from the police station...but their squad cars are just going up the road.
crime seems so wild and far from my own psyche. and i just wish for a week w/o sirens in my neighborhood.
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| i'm... |
[18 Sep 2007|09:36pm] |
really proud of my coowners @ beleza for what they do and care about and i'm happy to be part of the team.
really proud of my cohorts @ book'em and i feel so privileged to be a part of something so organic and diy and important. (and gawd the feel of productive mtgs. there is so great!)
really missing my family and looking forward to when my crazy parents come visit in two-ish weeks....wish my brother could come too.
really tired from school. i'm realizing how much more i should try to get done on the weekends so that i don't feel like this during the week. i think maybe my neighbor angela and i may have a homework/biking/something worked out that will be profitable for both of us on the weekends when all we want to do is anything but study. i had a historical geography test tonite that kicked my a** all over the place...atleast i aced my econ quiz! wahoo!
really glad when friends can come to pitt. like john laj. and it feels like "just yesterday" we were walking to lemonjelloes together, etc....*cheasy sigh*...it's a good feeling to have him here if just for a bit.
thanks friends for your support in this school time. i know i had one semester @ hope where i took 18 credits and i felt nuts...well this is like that semester for me b/c i have five classes and i feel a bit cuwazy...so i need ya'll's grace and i'll try to be as normal as possible in this academic frenzy ;)...i don't love you any less please have confidence in that...and i'm always happy to eat meals w/ people b/c peeps always gotta eat!
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[12 Aug 2007|11:18pm] |
today while i was working at our coffeeshop, i played Auchtung Baby on the ipod and missed my brother so much it hurt.
this summer evening made me yearn for a walk around the neighborhood with my mom.
i feel very disconnected from myself, the people around me and my family (whom i miss the most). i was telling steve as we walked through the neighborhood tonite that i really think i just need to do something that makes me feel good, proud, accomplished and whole for just like part of a day. and i need to be better about giving myself the appropriate time to relax and center myself (to use a trite phrase). like tonite i'm so glad s & i left a bit "early" from a wonderful dinner w/ wonderful friends b/c i really needed to just be home. make a pot of tea. and ease myself into sleep in the quiet and stillness of my husband and i. i want to be a positive part of my community, not a stressor and i feel like i have less to give when i'm not in line emotionally/socially w/ my husband and myself.
watch me grow up!
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| tha' stoop |
[01 Aug 2007|10:44am] |
man lastnite was a good stoopin' time: michael, jeanette, dan, ash, phil, garrett, charlie, jonas, and chris 'n tricia all on our stoop = very nice summer times
just when i was starting to feel like fall was encroaching on my summer (this feeling created by "getting ready for classes," paying bills, ordering books, etc.)...i had a wonderful evening chatting with friends into the night, i'm doing outside painting work for a family i work for (making me feel weathered and strong ;0), and tonite! a baseball game! wow...summa time summa time don't you pass me by.
i'm getting excited to move! only three more weeks and we'll be outta this crusty, musty joint. Speaking of moving, I spent most of the day yesterday with Mona El Shama (sp?) who just moved in @ the project. We did some thrifting to find her lamps, picture frames, etc. and we moved some furniture around in her suite to make her space feel homey and cozy. We also made plans to do yoga @ breathe on the south side..i'm so essited. It's wonderful to have her here: her energy, her spirit, her objectivity...just wonderful.
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